spring onion

heh.

all of a sudden i don't know what to write, i just went out of ideas. i should get down to solid work. ><

havent posted for a few days. not that i do not want to, i dont have the time to..yup. this week was like wind rushing past. hah! holiday homework, left with chemistry...oh no.

church camp video! oh man. hahas. i totally screwed it up...and cca's photo montage. i am a dead pig. my new year resolutions are out! wahas.

1. stop laughing and playing during sermon sometimes.
2. go for cell group
3. sleep at 10pm everyday. if i need to stay up, its for school work.
4. get more involved in church activities
5. be a much much much better sunday school teacher
6. swim 2 hours every sunday morning
7. dont stay up late just to chat unless its for cca or church
8. do next years' camp videos!!!
9. be a better sister
10. be a better daughter
11. read bible everyday
12. do quiet time everyday
13. practice guzheng 2 hours a day
14. read more books
15. must have initiative to finish homework before i sleep
16. never submit anymore late work
17. be punctual for cca

i guess thats all. hahas. thats all i have now..

i would like to post really good posts on my blog, hopefully daily, but i just do not have the time...

hey people.

i am so dead. homework that are left:

1. commonwealth essay
2. chemistry worksheets
3. to kill a mocking bird

yeah and theres guzheng to practice, theres camp video to edit. i am so dead.

theres so much competition that i can't breathe

today went christmas last minute present shopping.

i bought:
new keyboard
new mouse (but i gave it to my dad in the end)
the book 'The Nativity Story'
a set of colour pens
stationery

courtesy of my daddy's wallet. it was my dad's idea that i get new keyboard and mouse can i er, use the computer to late into the night sometimes and its pretty noisy...the keys are hard plastic...

anyway, going to read now..bb

would like to thank:

elysa for giving me a doraemon sermon notebook. :)
kaiqi for giving me a keychain which says 'I Love Jesus'.
zara for giving me a white cross keychain.
kelyn for giving me a strawberry handkerchief in a pink container with a doraemon mini mirror.
amanda for giving me a keychain with pslam 119:105 on it.
dena for giving me a plastic crystal decorative cross.
erica for giving me three wristbands with 'confidence', 'heart' and 'desire' on them.
weiyu for giving me a super nice zombie sweet.
marcus for giving me cookies and chocolate.
angelin for the notebook

yup, 10 presents from church friends.

1 guy, 9 girls
4 devotional stuff, 1 to-be devotional stuff, 3 cool stuff, and 2 gain-fat stuff.

hahas. yeah, but they're really sweet, as in all the presents. lol.

yeah, mum and dad gonna bring us out to buy textbooks and presents. bb

second Christmas spent with WCC.

yesterday went to witness sanjiu, sanjiumu's and popo's baptism...yup. have lots of food there. then went back home, showered then rushed out Christmas cards for church friends.

was late for usher duty. :( was late meeting erica :( then met kelly, lionel and daryl..went to church, did usher duty. i did real badly. sang, worship. performances and sermon. i thought that the sermon bit was abit...not a too good approach fir first time church-goers. yup. we can only pray that their hearts will be opened and their eyes to be opened and that they will come to know God.

yup. then did other duty stuff. ate things. gave out cards. ahah. they were really unpresentable sia. argh. hahas. erica was shy. :) but it was good that we could talk and she rebonded her hair! she looks so pretty. XD yup. shes a pretty lady.

the funny part when i went to give boys the cards. funny reactions.

er, leonard was scared of me, i think. alex also. hahas. scary man. next time MUST go in a group with the girls. go alone will freak outt.

yup. they went for nightwalk. i didnt go, but i promised someone but i dont know who that i'd stay up until the whole thing is over. i dont know if i did because i dont know what time the nighttour ended. thoughout the whole night was disturbing ppl. hahas.

while they were touring, i was doing homework. sobsob. then at five i couldnt tahan anymore then i went to sms a few people then i went to do quiet time, then slept.

guzheng results came back today...82/100 a disappointing merit. 3 more precious points to distinction. another huge slap in 2 days.

93, 85. they all seemed to be doing better than i do. crap. people re getting distinctions left right centre and here i am, getting a freaking merit.

i have this really sick thinking. i wanted to be isolated from 112'06 or rather 212'07. yeah. i visited the class blog just now and i had this feeling overcome me. and i was so busy checking everyone's link to see if they have me on it. and after checking, i dont know why but i was relieved. i mean, what sort of thing is that. thats so sick.

feeling kinda lame and down. i dont know what to do with the time i have in my hands. not that i do not have anything to do, i have plenty. mind you. mountains of them but i just dont have that heart to do it.

like this morning's chemistry stuff that i was studying. yes, i was making a point to make use of the rest of my time in holidays, but then i remember stuff, i can give you the answer if you ask the question. but i am doing all these passionatelessly. dont know what word is that. but its just, i am doing things for the sake of doing and i dont like it. theres cca next week and i have skived off 2 cca practices this week. okay, something happened that made me so dull and lifeless. but it shouldnt stop me from doing the things i like and losing the drive to do things.

i am beginning to feel sick about books. they are no longer appealing. i have this pile of books i borrowed from the library. and i've been reading lesser since dont-know-when. but during high time i can read up to 3-5 books day and they are really thick novels with small prints. and now i only read, a couple of chapters or even worse, sentences. blah. i hate it when things turn out this way.

but i am exerting self-control. i was deeply addicted to computers or rather internet for a while previously. spending almost the whole day of my holidays in front of the computer staring at the liquid crystal digital screen. but at least i am spending more time on books now. i ought to read more. kill this habit. using only about an hour a day AFTER i have finish necessary work and revision provided its not pass my bedtime that was set. i ought to work hard next year. as in really hard. the more i look at my report book the more i feel depressed.

no one is to be blamed except me and i know that. i knew how is like to be disappointed, for the second time in my life. the first was when psle results release. i got the hell shock out of my life. and it was the first time i cried, feeling remorseful because i didnt do well for psle. it seemed to me that that slap wasnt sharp and stinging enough for me to remember to strive hard.

yea. bedtime is 10pm-10.30pm on school days. and i can only stay up if i have undone schoolwork or other work. if i catch myself doing something else other than that, i dont know what would i do. but. this condition seemed easy enough for me to break it if the temptations overcome me.

i have to constantly remind myself that you know, i am doing EVERYTHING, every single thing that i do, is solely for God. no one else. to glorify Him. to prove and testify His name that with Him, i can do simply anything. anything. i want to show it to my mum that i can take care of my grades, i can manage my finance properly. something which i failed to do this year. something which i can do but failed to do. its cool that i get motivated. i just have to remind myself and give myself slaps if i have to.

i really want to do something for the church. and something which i have been dying to do, edit youth camp video. i didnt have the courage though. i asked my sis to help me ask today morning when she smsed elysa. my sis and elysa were quite pleased. hahas. it gives my sis opportunities to speak to ******* and it lightens elysa's load a little. yup. but its cool you know, to be able to do something for our fellow brother and sisters on Christ.

thats all for today i guess. i'd probably write abit more. going for a family gathering, you see. =)

s***, i am so tired. finished my work at about 2-3am in the morning. wanted to go to sleep but i volunteered to wake my sis up for school, i mean she has council duty for sec 1 registration. kay. but ended up, i was awake through the whole night but i fell asleep at 5? lol.

it was funny. i was self-amusing myself by crapping. but then it tickled my sis so much that for half a dozen of times, she pounced onto me on my mattress. i have down-graded to sleeping on the floor and i simply love sleeping on the floor. hahas. i hate sleeping on the upper bunk. i mean. ok. i am scared of heights. *.* forget it.

so, at first i was so shocked. man. imagine your sis jump onto you. seh. then she kept laughing you know...and at first i thought she was going to molest or rape me. nvm.

yeah. so now i am a walking zombie. annddddd...the chocolates i cut were dumb. ok. nvm i am seriously tired and i need a nap! imagine staring at teeny words on books on chemistry...you'd die. i used to read books to keep me awake,but it doesnt seem to work anymore. i am running this reading race. finny 50 books before holidays end. i have been reading almost 40 books since december. =)) hopefully i can reach my target. XD

lunch time. bb

During worship when i lack in tone, i level it with my volume. cool isnt it? =)

yup. a few days ago, i had a great row with my mum and soon after that, God told me something. Do everything for God. solely for God and that really struck me still. i didnt do quiet time and it was so amazing that God just spoke to me like that. Just how my siblings talk to me. how we humans talk. and after that i really thought of doing everything for God and i was serious. with this thought in my mind, i was kinder to my siblings and even my dad.

i remembered how hard was it to say a sorry or a thank you and now i mean, it needs time to make things smooth but i am amazed by God's speed. 2 days ago i was a rebellious kid and today, i think for the first time in my life, i am doing my best and i am so sure of it that i can proclaim it to the world. i just want to be a Man of God.

yeah, i am just so touched. i need to brush up on my language to express how i feel much better. but i am just so...i really dont know. but yes, i am determined to do everything, every single thing in my life. solely for God.

thanks eh, ben. Man of God. =)

Today was good i guess. well spent should be the word. hahas.


i woke up late today because i slept late today morning. anyways. went out to orchard. ate at wisma atria or whatever its called at food republic. then went takashimaya to go to kinokuniya to buy books. yup.


bought Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince at 19.90 with 20% discount and The Everything Guitar Chords Book by Marc Schonburn at 33.31 with 20% discount.

spent a bomb today, but courtesy of my uncle's and dad's wallets. XD and i want my wallet to remain fat because it has been thinning since holidays started.

thinking of this makes me funny.

last night of camp there was this barbecue and i overheard pastor david tell yingsheng laoshi something about firing for God. i mean, its somehow connected to the fire we used to barbecue the food. anyways, when yingsheng laoshi joined us, he kept repeating.

JESUS! JESUS! FIRE FOR JESUS!

lol, and i kept grinning. hahas. could contain my laughter. seh. but now i know that feeling. i have so much fire in my bones. this is cool.

i have fire in my bones, i can hear God calling, if i dont go (go for missionaries) i will burn and die. its so WOW! even more wow that the KFC wow meal, if you eat the shrooms burger meal and what zinger burger meal. i am digressing. anyways.

I WANT TO RUN THIS RACE! hahas. i feel so much fire, like so much steam in me that i can keep running and running. tomorrow theres cell. i cant wait, but the prob is i dont know whether i can go.

during this youth church camp, the best thing that i've learnt that God's words are true and He is REAL. take me for real. i am serious ok. i am so in love with God. whoa =))

looking at th message
it was though time has stopped
overstatement, you might say
but it so isn't true
stalling for time
or rather, my time
it stabs
stabs
stabs
and my blood drips

we cannot go back
nor can we go further
because the heart is smashed
into, smithereens
how i want to say
i miss you
i love you
i can't live without you!
these secrets
tsk
are they even considered as secrets?

and i can only
let God have all these pieces
of my heart
for He mends them
and i go on
without you
sadly.




such thick pride
as though you were so good
such harsh words
as though you were the king
when you arent both




i miss you so much
will you just come back
look at me
like what they claimed you did?

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power and might
Our God is an awesome God
Our God is an awesome God

i totally love this song man.
its so powerful that it sweeps us off our feet
and we land up
on our knees

my heart skipped a beat
when i typed your name
its like missing a step
while going down the stairs

i guess it goes back
to that cycle again
that cycle
one by one

and it goes on
and on
and on
and no end to it

hahas. its just dreams
and they are driving me crazy
guy free environment
no such stuff i guess

there will be no full-stop to it
until i pray hard enough
and that does it
God's power

BGR originally stands for BoyGirlRelationship

but pastor david's version is

BGR stands for BuildGodlyRelationship

cool eh? XD



i saw ya again.
shocking though.
you saw me.
i hurried back to what i was doing.
fake?
nope.
it just wasnt real.
nor fake anymore.
back to normal i guess.
you graduating and all that.
it just struck me still.

so deeply in love.
you trusted me so.
with your little secrets.
i noticed more of you.
feeling myself catch glances of you.
couldnt resist.
you keep telling me that you were looking
couldnt believe it though.
dont want to believe so too.
dont know whether it works.
leave to God i guess.
i dont want to know.
writing this makes me feel.
horny.
things recollected.
bittersweet moments.
man.
i am changing within.

i dont have super memory eh, so yups. i might miss out some things or remembered somethings...

so, i had 3 1/2 hours of sleep before the camp. i went to camp groggy-headed but the excitement in me was so overwhelming that i wasnt sleepy anymore...so

reached church, thought my sis and i were later than the rest in the end, reached there and realised that only elysa and weiyu were there. sad sia. nobody took 10.30am as 10.30am. hahas. some people only left house at 10.15am. sheesh. so went there. after the rest of the girls reached we wanted to buy milo but in the end bought choc milk and lollipops.

went to the camp FINALLY after 35mins coach ride. nothing much, knew our group. i wanted to protest at first. but i guess it wasnt so bad in the end. heh. anyways, introduce the VIKINGS! MUAHAHAHAHA

BEN
alex
lloyd
zeke
wai kuong
amanda
cherie

cool right? the vikings. lol yeah. so we thought of this group cheer. 2 cheers combined into one.

i cant remember. cause i am so blur now.

anyway, after cheer, briefing. nono wrong, sh**

ok then lunch? then knew our bunks. er ya. and my bed was so messy that it was worse of than the floor. boys were NOT supposed to come to the girls end but after awhile they all came over and boys even sat on our beds. so

yeah. went down for games.

we played some game. yes. whacko. at first, say name, then say mrt station, then say fruits. and this is the worse.

sarawak pineapple
singapore tomato
fuji apple
and mine? japanese dragonfruit

hahas. i dont even know if japan plant dragonfruit. it was rubbishy anyway.

then second game cat and mouse i think 112 played during PE once.

it was darn stupid. to be safe, run infront of someone. i keep running behind. *.* then once i was chasing s david and i kept laughing cause he kept saying ' qi1 fu4 lao3 ren2' hahas, but i caught him in the end.

then the other game is i dont know what name is that but its writing 3 things about yourself and then pass around and you have to guess who is that. ya la. so there yeah.

then some other stuff

then what else. yes, discuss script.

the script isnt wet though it was in my pocket even during the water bomb game cause my clothes ah, hehe, water proof mah.

then have this treasure hunt thing. eh, i slipped *blush* yeah, but ben grabbed me. hahas

so right we were supposed to find things in the dark. then the last thing, er we couldnt find it, asked marcus hahas. then he found it. i think they docked points for that one. so huh ya la. there were froggies and tall grasses. and amanda and i were scratching cause we are allergic to some plants. and our legs were RED.

anyway we showered. my sis fell. suffered a small but deep cut but she kept saying, not pain not pain not bleeding. then when we are alone she said, meimei, very pain leh. why keep bleeding huh. s*** lah, so pain. wah very pain leh. then in the end, still have to go down and ask for plaster.hahas. marcus was funny also, my sis' cut so small gave such a huge plaster.

anyway, lights out. i was reading cause i couldnt sleep. you know why? irritating boys. everytime they walk, the floor will tremble and girls wake up. and the thing is they keep walking. so i ended up reading. and the thing is marcus said that it didnt affect me cause I WAS READING, but the whole point is that. aiyo.

and leonard was half naked so when kelyn and amanda and elysa were doing quiet time, he kept looking towards them. so fishy.

yes. ps david kept snoring. wahahahaha. know how we knew? whenever he is on his bunk, we heard snores. when he went out to patrol, we didnt hear anything. ok. anyways. slept for 2 hours. then woke up.

breakfast do duty. after eating, some guys and myself went to do the dishes. and the plates kept coming in. so nvm. yeha.

after that worship then games. yeah. uh, we played this game.

chairs were lined like a Y. each team take one side.we were supposed to play scirssors paper stone. then when you reach the other end, you pass lah.but the thing about the chairs is that there were eggs, flour and ketchup. disgusting. so everyone suffered. then after that we played another game stepping on numbers. then played mission x.

hahas. it was dumb. anyway.

lunch then worship then free time boys went to play soccer when the girls are soooo damn worried about the skit later.

then we have bbq, there was so much smoke that my brain was clogged that i couldnt think. after the bbq everyone was so tired that we wanted to sleep but we still had to perform. after that.

had ghost walk. hahas. i was with ben, er zeke and wai kuong. yup. we were the first group. after that we scared other groups along the way back. hahas.

yeah. then there was wate bomb games. hahas. i wore waterproof clothes. lol so i was only 1/3 wet. then after that everyone hugged me to pour one bucket of water on me eh. but i was still not very wet hahas. yeah. they wanted to hug pastor david and somemore hugged on zeke's bed. lol

then elysa kept chasing me. hahas. but the thing is she throw water bomb at me, then it bounce off so i wasnt wet. ahahs. yeah and kaiqi kept blowing my candle, but failed. elysa also, but she wasnt successful. then in the end hahas, the had to use buckets.

yeah then showered. then yeah wanted to sleep but cant sleep. nod off then wake up everytime those people laugh in the end went to join them play first grade pig. it was funny. anyway we went to sleep at 5.40am

then marcus wanted me to throw pillow then off light when i was already near my bed. and i didnt know which switch to off so ended up wasting 5-10 mins. it was bad.

so nvm, slept. i was half sleeping mduring breakfast if not i would be like zeke in our script. hahas. yeah then ps david asked me a few questions. i was so blur that i said.

my church is near my house
my church is near my church
my house is near my church

hahas then ps david said, eh i think you cannot make it. hahas. yeah

then when i reached home i swooped into my bed and snored from 2pm until today morning 10am. slept for 20 hours. despite the fact that 5 people roared me up.
before that i treid to type this endtry but i couldnt make it, saved it and continues awhile ago found out that it was rubbish and i deteed it and wrote a new one, this one.

anyways, dedications.

waikuong: hope that you can come and join us at church soon and accept Christ into your life! =))
lloyd: hahas, cute teddy bear! lol. anyways, he's really funny and hahas, cute. nvr got to pinch his cheeks, though, bet he will protest =)
alex: hahas, you are really lame leh. and dont act cool. muahahaha. anyways, er, i dont smile at you meh?
zeke: you have really good leadership skills. =)
amanda: why you keep screaming?! lol hahas. anyways right, i dont know what to say because we already said so much =)
angelin: ellos. hahas. i think next time you guys can have cell group at national stadium. waha =))
tim: hahas best male camper not bad eh! =))
vicknesh: during bbq we dedicated sausages to you but you werent there. =)) and dont be so shy during discipleship, girls are not monsters and we dont have disease. =D
lewis: logical crap ah...when things are logical, they arent crap anymore what! aiyo. hahas. anyways, you are a good crappy brother. =))
kelyn: hahas, you know what i'm going to say liao, cause i'm going to say when we meet this sat!
venus: hahas, you also know what i'm going to say laio =)
jeremy: why, you are really cute! i also want to pinch your cheeks!
siwen: hahas, she slapped her thighs so hard during cheer that she suffered bruises. XD
leonard: er, what makes you think that i'm fierce huh? hahas. and i dont smile at you meh? heh, you are half naked too
yufeng: uh oh, uhm, i dont talk to you...i guess..
titus: ah, naughty boy
zara: argh ahhas. i guess the same thing i will say to the other girls
weiyu: hehe, not bad, you took 10mins to shower. =)) and talk more with the girls . hahas.
wayne: really naughty, how come you sleep at the girls bunk on the last day?
ben: really good leader with really small eyes, i just realised. hahas. and a good brother too. can act really childish
elysa: hahas say so much dont know what to say also le...=))
queen qin: hahas. she has a little problem that she eats too much sometimes...XDXDXD love teasing you man
ps david: hahas, you run fast hahas. ns training is good also. =))
kaiqi: hahas, my candle cannot be blown off. XDXD
marcus: heh, you very rude to zara and crappy also. lol. what else.hahas.

hehe, npthing else to wrtie le. braind ead.

but still, God blessed us all. like my sis, when she fell, sh only suffered a small cut. kelyn, only bruises, and myself on got some mud on my pants. and leonard's specs, we found it. and what else. yeah, we learnt and boned alot. yups. thats all. =))

right. lets see...

i havent been posting for 5 days. have been rushing homework and packing table. going away for church camp next week. will be back on wednesday. visitors coming tomorrow. i ought to have a good night rest.

my nose loves to bleed nowadays. i can bleed for easily 5-6 times a day now. out of no apparent reason. feeling so quirky. anyways, it was rather funny to see my sis hide behind something when she sees blood. wah. how can she survive in her bio class next year. tsktsk.

i feel so utterly random right now. using my dad's laptop and my eyes hurt so much. >.< 可怜我吧！ok. my mum banned me from using my own computer. but she wasnt specific enough which means i can use my dad's laptop. wahahahaha. oh, and my phone's gone too...until i finish packing my table.

went for Shiun Han and Meei Duan's wedding yesterday night at Prima Revolving Restaurant. We managed to revolve only one round. i forgot to take pictures. first, was lazy to get the camera out. and my cousin had a fun time bullying me. heh. yesterday night was crazy.

i went there. saw eleanor. she made me run up the stairs with her. and as if that wasnt enough, she asked me whether she can show me something, i said yes. and she brought me around the whole restaurant and made me so maluated. someone running around the whole place trying to catch a 6 yr old kid. after about 10mins. she said, i was tricking you! hehe, i was leading you no nowhere! *cheeky laughters* oh no! *cherie clenches her fists* but dont worry, i didnt box her up.

then she had her whale of her time tickling me. i am so afraid of tickles. she continued doing that for about half an hour? UH OH. and i was sitting beside her the whole time. ><><

she was on my right and i have yet introduced my left neighbour yet. she was my beloved sis. and because of my attire, i was officially romeo in my cousins' eyes. argh!! and who's my juliet? eleanor!

they have fun bullying me eh...i will revenge! MUAHAHAHAHA!

it looks like this wedding dinner for table 26, was more of a cousin laughter zone more than a eating zone. i guess of all the tables, this table was the most unglamourous.

1.) someone named JOSHUA kept laughing, apparently at something but to the others, it was nothing. nicknamed VENUS' small romeo.
2.) someone named VENUS who was dressed like a waitress in that restaurant with a pink scarf on her neck. nicknamed JOSHUA's big juliet.
3.) someone named ELEANOR who kept tickling someone called CHERIE and visits the toilet at 10mins interval. nicknamed CHERIE's small juliet.
4.) someone named CHERIE who is the contributer of the above entry. who gets bullied every 5 seconds by her lovely neightbour ELEANOR. nicknamed ELEANOR's big romeo. because of her attire.

P.S. the above casts, 1-4, has exagerated descriptions above toilet and bullying intervals by..ahem...you know who.

Its really really heart wrenching to see people jump off train tracks. one by one they jump off the tracks. and gradually, the train tracks become a more popular suicide site than HDB blocks. they die because they have a lot of problems in their life. yes, but so what? just remember that there are more people who are worse off than you. you are not the only one. i find that committing suicide is a really kiddish way of ending problems.

anyways. it is hard enough to see people die. it is even harder to know that they will NEVER get to heaven. wasted.

so. i am here blogging. went shopping with mum today. just got back home. hahas. she said that she is very afraid of bringing me out shopping for clothes. and she say even if she does in future, ashe will bring me to somewhere that doesnt offer male clothings or anything close to that. hahas. the solution is, i shant buy clothes. wahahaha. okay. never mind.

uhm, will finish solving my spider solitaire. so i gues byebye