Sunday, September 30, 2007
fast and furious.
SENSITIVE CONTENT
i've been wondering a lot these days, on the bus rides and short 'daydreaming' sessions in between tasks etc etc.
mrtan mentioned on his last math lesson with our class, lessons with hit you fast and furious and either you catch it or you lag. fast and furious.
recently, or rather this whole week, i've been stocking up books to read. and i finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. its a good break from all the books and last minute facts to memorise before eoys. and all the thoughts shared between morrie and mitch, initially started off as another thesis to write but ends up as a No. 1 bestseller. and all these really impressed me and intrigued me. i really have no idea whether all those tuesdays actually took place, the back of the book stated that it was non-fiction, so i shall assumed they did. however, it really impressed me, how morrie had managed to go against and work against the things he never believed in.
back to fast and furious. reading this book has been an insight to me and a path for me to pave out my thoughts, thoughts that i have had inside me for a long time, unable to string them out properly into a proper entry. it had filled in the gaps as did many other books. perhaps this is why i enjoy reading, tremendously.
i had realised that, a long time ago, how people led their lives depended and were and still are influenced by the culture. from when we were young, parents racked their brains over kindergartens to enrol their kids into, which primary schools to enroll their kids into, which secondary school is more prestige, which junior college offers what a growing half-adult needs, which university or which country is better for the future of your child...etc etc etc.
i can't say those people, strangers or non-strangers, who read my blog have experienced everything mentioned above, as a parents. but you can be sure that, your parents have racked their brains over such issues before. it might not be about education, i quoted the example as i believe it is the most common. it can be living area, or anything along the line. but why is the choice of school, back to the education issue, that important to parents? school culture, what kind of people will you meet? hardworking students, those who constantly strive to overcome difficulties and do better and better each test, each exam to win oneself, or students who live for the sake of living, end up as gangsters, get involved in secret societies and do drugs? perhaps that was the most important issue on your parents' minds but is that what that matters?
its a culture. its the culture that runs in the country. but the schools basically divides this country into several 'bands'. the 2 main ones, the what you can call, elites. and another, hawkers.
but at the end of the day, these people live for one reason. to earn money. why? no money = no survival. do you have to earn money quick? oh yesyes, so that you wont lose out to others. you wont lose customers to other stalls, you wont lose customers to buy this ever wonderful armchair, you wont lose customers to the other housing agency.
they all, despite of living in the different banks, different schools, different status in the society, different powers, they all sing, no live, the same tune.
earn money fast. why? customers come, everything fast fast fast.
is it important? yes yes, survival is important.
is money that important? perhaps. but i must say, today, money is the least important. why? there are things money cant buy, in fact, money can only buy the material things. it cant buy love, it cant buy contentment. oh yes, i can. but what? for grown adults, you can buy 'love' and contentment. one-night stands. that's it. and the next night you'll search for another.
people see things, and deem things important. because the culture says so. so people live a life to earn money, raise a family. and then? at the end of the day, they can't bring themselves to say, i am enjoying my retirement.
the lessons will be fast and furious in sec3. customers will come fast and furious. you get them or your competitors will. you spend your life fighting for something which you will understand as empty.
cars. terrace houses. cash cards. and all the other things. money, the main culprit. the main culprit to destroying this wonderful culture built. because its fast and furious. that is why you find old men, old women who are retired sitting at coffee shops, nothing to do. or rather, do not know what to do.
because suddenly, you find, that you have forgotten how to take time off to enjoy this earth. you have spent the major 60 years in your life rushing homework, passing tests, clnching As, earning house points, collecting prizes, winning trophies, rushing thesis, fighting for better jobs, earning money, saving for wedding...etc etc etc.
you find no time to look at the things you see everyday but never notice.
when you slow down, you learn the important things. you learn that work is not important. your As will not help you earn love. perhaps it will determine whether you will be promoted to the next level or not, whether you will end up in a triple-science stream. however, what will become of this As?
when i read Tuesdays with Morrie, i saw Amy Tan's comment on the book. but i couldn't help but wonder if after reading the book, because of this culture living in all of us, she goes back to the fast and furious life.
i read the book. and i wondered if i will go back to my fast and furious life. As. are As that important?
the more i think about it, the more i see importance in the things i believe in. God. if tribulation, end of times is to come to, or even tomorrow. i will be more than glad to embrace it. because i do the things i believe in.
perhaps some believe that it is a shameful thing to admit that you're in a dire situation, i'm admitting here that i haven't done well at all, this whole year. count the amount of Fs and Es i get, and compare it with the amount of As i get.
when i'm in school, and when i'm in solitude i believe my attitude is very much different. in the public library, or in school, i'm living the fast and furious life. studying, As. wear my school jacket and sit at the library for the whole day to show that, see, i am from the elite school, i study very hard. but when i'm away from those prying eyes of others. my attitude changes and i am once again flooded with all these guilt of living this hyprocritic life.
some say that it is inevitable. its life. but i believe otherwise. life is something else. and i'm sorry to say, i have yet found out the answers.
some may say, you turn to religion for answers. leave religion out of this discussion. find a better solution from me. and i can assure you, you will find none.
it sounds deep, and perhaps and agony for some to read it and then realise that its very much an honest reflection of our lives. but take heart people, understand this. reflect on how you've been leading your lives. eoys here, or not.
i've been wondering a lot these days, on the bus rides and short 'daydreaming' sessions in between tasks etc etc.
mrtan mentioned on his last math lesson with our class, lessons with hit you fast and furious and either you catch it or you lag. fast and furious.
recently, or rather this whole week, i've been stocking up books to read. and i finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. its a good break from all the books and last minute facts to memorise before eoys. and all the thoughts shared between morrie and mitch, initially started off as another thesis to write but ends up as a No. 1 bestseller. and all these really impressed me and intrigued me. i really have no idea whether all those tuesdays actually took place, the back of the book stated that it was non-fiction, so i shall assumed they did. however, it really impressed me, how morrie had managed to go against and work against the things he never believed in.
back to fast and furious. reading this book has been an insight to me and a path for me to pave out my thoughts, thoughts that i have had inside me for a long time, unable to string them out properly into a proper entry. it had filled in the gaps as did many other books. perhaps this is why i enjoy reading, tremendously.
i had realised that, a long time ago, how people led their lives depended and were and still are influenced by the culture. from when we were young, parents racked their brains over kindergartens to enrol their kids into, which primary schools to enroll their kids into, which secondary school is more prestige, which junior college offers what a growing half-adult needs, which university or which country is better for the future of your child...etc etc etc.
i can't say those people, strangers or non-strangers, who read my blog have experienced everything mentioned above, as a parents. but you can be sure that, your parents have racked their brains over such issues before. it might not be about education, i quoted the example as i believe it is the most common. it can be living area, or anything along the line. but why is the choice of school, back to the education issue, that important to parents? school culture, what kind of people will you meet? hardworking students, those who constantly strive to overcome difficulties and do better and better each test, each exam to win oneself, or students who live for the sake of living, end up as gangsters, get involved in secret societies and do drugs? perhaps that was the most important issue on your parents' minds but is that what that matters?
its a culture. its the culture that runs in the country. but the schools basically divides this country into several 'bands'. the 2 main ones, the what you can call, elites. and another, hawkers.
but at the end of the day, these people live for one reason. to earn money. why? no money = no survival. do you have to earn money quick? oh yesyes, so that you wont lose out to others. you wont lose customers to other stalls, you wont lose customers to buy this ever wonderful armchair, you wont lose customers to the other housing agency.
they all, despite of living in the different banks, different schools, different status in the society, different powers, they all sing, no live, the same tune.
earn money fast. why? customers come, everything fast fast fast.
is it important? yes yes, survival is important.
is money that important? perhaps. but i must say, today, money is the least important. why? there are things money cant buy, in fact, money can only buy the material things. it cant buy love, it cant buy contentment. oh yes, i can. but what? for grown adults, you can buy 'love' and contentment. one-night stands. that's it. and the next night you'll search for another.
people see things, and deem things important. because the culture says so. so people live a life to earn money, raise a family. and then? at the end of the day, they can't bring themselves to say, i am enjoying my retirement.
the lessons will be fast and furious in sec3. customers will come fast and furious. you get them or your competitors will. you spend your life fighting for something which you will understand as empty.
cars. terrace houses. cash cards. and all the other things. money, the main culprit. the main culprit to destroying this wonderful culture built. because its fast and furious. that is why you find old men, old women who are retired sitting at coffee shops, nothing to do. or rather, do not know what to do.
because suddenly, you find, that you have forgotten how to take time off to enjoy this earth. you have spent the major 60 years in your life rushing homework, passing tests, clnching As, earning house points, collecting prizes, winning trophies, rushing thesis, fighting for better jobs, earning money, saving for wedding...etc etc etc.
you find no time to look at the things you see everyday but never notice.
when you slow down, you learn the important things. you learn that work is not important. your As will not help you earn love. perhaps it will determine whether you will be promoted to the next level or not, whether you will end up in a triple-science stream. however, what will become of this As?
when i read Tuesdays with Morrie, i saw Amy Tan's comment on the book. but i couldn't help but wonder if after reading the book, because of this culture living in all of us, she goes back to the fast and furious life.
i read the book. and i wondered if i will go back to my fast and furious life. As. are As that important?
the more i think about it, the more i see importance in the things i believe in. God. if tribulation, end of times is to come to, or even tomorrow. i will be more than glad to embrace it. because i do the things i believe in.
perhaps some believe that it is a shameful thing to admit that you're in a dire situation, i'm admitting here that i haven't done well at all, this whole year. count the amount of Fs and Es i get, and compare it with the amount of As i get.
when i'm in school, and when i'm in solitude i believe my attitude is very much different. in the public library, or in school, i'm living the fast and furious life. studying, As. wear my school jacket and sit at the library for the whole day to show that, see, i am from the elite school, i study very hard. but when i'm away from those prying eyes of others. my attitude changes and i am once again flooded with all these guilt of living this hyprocritic life.
some say that it is inevitable. its life. but i believe otherwise. life is something else. and i'm sorry to say, i have yet found out the answers.
some may say, you turn to religion for answers. leave religion out of this discussion. find a better solution from me. and i can assure you, you will find none.
it sounds deep, and perhaps and agony for some to read it and then realise that its very much an honest reflection of our lives. but take heart people, understand this. reflect on how you've been leading your lives. eoys here, or not.
// posted by My name is Oherie. @ 12:55 am 
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