spring onion

i realised that i didnt post much about guzheng concert cause i was tired.

woke up at 4.57am thinking that it was morning already cause the last person who slept forgot to switch off the living room light. was it me? and because my room's door's open and i sleep on a mattress beside the door, i hated the light so much. woke up because my foot was giving hell. itchy, painful, swollen, irritating. gross.

then i went to get calamine lotion so that my foot wont itch so much. calamine lotion took a long time to dry, so i decided to sleep face down, forgetting that i have a scrape that infected and i had dumbly knocked guzheng stand into because i had nothing to do for 15min. imagine how much it hurt. so i yelled in pain. i wouldn't consider it as a yell, but i felt like doing so because it was terrible. i was so feeling like crying and screaming because everything just so wasn't smooth. so i left the lamp on and the bottle of calamine lotion on the table and went back to bed. slept all the way through till slightly past lunch time.

woke up. went online. saw many happy people online. because happy with them. got high for a while had fun informing people about guzheng lunch. realised that i havent started on my homework and revising lit at 4pm. started panicking.

friday, spent the whole afternoon looking for a chinese doctor when the rest are practicing guzheng. should have gone for cca. lousy doc. made me hurt more. couldnt walk when i got home.

spent my whole saturday in school and trying to post about concert.

sunday was rotting day.

i backslided. i havent gone to church for a week. last week i was at sunday school and i had had a terrible time to please the kids.

havent really sat down and worshipped properly. even my usual worship and prise session before bed is disrupted because i tend to fall asleep while doing quiet time or praying or listening to planetshakers. morning, i sleep all the way to school, wasting battery. trying to listen to worship songs.

screwed. and i still have homework left undone.

results not exactly colourful.

comments not exactly positive.

homework not exactly fabulous.

only guzheng is colourful, positive and fabulous. nyguzheng is my pride and joy.

its something i can proudly say that i am proud of. my parents might be proud of saying my daughter's in nanyang. but i wont. because my pride and joy lies alone with nyguzheng.

i aspire to be the pres. :) because i want to bring more glory to this ensemble which has given me so much, much more than the school has ever given. perhaps more than what chongfu gave me to.

i remember the time, perhaps a year ago. i was so desperately wanting to change cca. but i didnt make it. i felt so depressed then, the thought of not being able to continue to learn cello. but it was a blessing in disguise. i was glad my appeal wasn't granted. i was glad that i felt sad then, for a few months. because i felt joy in nygz.

joy.

jesus.
others.
yourself.

i thank jesus for giving me a chance to stay in nygz.
i thank the others, my gz mates for accepting me and not treating me like a traitor because i so didnt want to join nygz.
i thank God for letting me learn guzheng when i was in primary 2, because it was all meant to be. :)