spring onion

i dont want to play mind games with you.
i dont want to be bothered with you.
i dont want to see you.
i dont want to know you.
i dont want to remember what we did together.
i dont want to have anything to do with you.
but i know i cant.
because i really cant.

its not because i want to see you.
but you are just there.
like the inevitable.
i see you almost everyday of the week.
i see your name almost everywhere.
i see things that remind me of you.
and most of all,
i keep seeing you,
in my head.

its not that i do not want to see you.
i really do.
but the pain.
the humiliation.
it makes me feel guilty when i shouldn't be.
cause i dont think i did anything wrong.
and you refused to tell me why are you displeased with me.
so now what.
we started.
and we ended
nowhere.
i changed.
did i?
i never knew.
cause you didnt tell me.
and fancy the fact that you tell other people
that i am your best friend.