spring onion

Subject: How to kill time at Walmart

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their =
sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts =
when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute =
intervals.

3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4 Walk up to an employee and tell=20
him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what =
happens.

5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers =
you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding =
department.

8 When a clerk ask s if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why =
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick =
your nose.

10 While handling guns in the hunting=20
department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission =
Impossible" theme.

12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using =
different size funnels.

13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK =
ME! PICK ME!"

14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal =
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And last but not least!)

15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, =
then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"=20