Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Harsh, thats what that was. that kind of tone you used. what am i to you? someone whom you find entertaining and thankful to have when you have no one else? and when a little favour is not met to your expectations, you just dump me? like, what am i? someone not worthy to even to be thought of? someone whom you wont share a penny of her thoughts and how she felt? how monstrous are you. how heartless are you. how cold-blooded you are. i guess i wont get all these answered because you wont ever ever admit. because in your eyes, your eyes, you seemed so perfect, so flawless, everything that happened that is bad is not your fault. you can blame it on your loved ones, you can blame it on the people who loves you so much, you can blame it on people who are you friends, but you just wouldnt put that blame which you have to shoulder on yourself.so what should i call you? cowardly? timid? or just plain innocence. but i doubt that you are innocent, i doubt that you are pure. but who am i to speak of all these? someone who thinks that is your friend, when the fact is that she is used when wanted and dumped when the uses have been taken advantage of?hahs! no! i guess, you are just thinking too small, yet too big. you are just so weak, yet so strong. people get baffled by your inner selves for they know not the true you. they thus prefer to stick to what you are on the surface. the ever laughing, ever joker, ever perfect sister in their eyes.so pray tell me, at least, what is it that disturbs you most? what gave you such, strong character, yet made you so weak? i sometimes wonder, whether your mood really changes like the weather in Sydney. or is it something like a diversion to help you with the friends whom you dont want to get close with, automaically leave you? perhaps i will never know. but it would never hurt to let me find out, at least, as a true but not surface friend of yours.this will continue, to lengthen tomorrow when the ultimate hurdle fall behind into history and as time passes, dust collects and it will be gone forever.there will still be hurdles, still be waves and storms, but i have faith that with God by my side, they can be conquered everntually one by one at a time.Dad left for Jakarta this evening and arrival time has yet been confirmed. that worry will still be there till he comes back, and we wish, soon.Just this one last post, as a pre-battle journal entry. it had looked fierce to me. and, thus from something that seemed so normal to people, i however, suffers great stresses from it. jittery, thats what i am now. Had Alexander's army along with his good faithful friend, Hephiastion felt the same on thje eve of the battle at Gaugamela? I hope this encourages me, the things that had awaited them after they had won the battle. I hope this turn-out will be owned by me soon.jittery, afraid...but fear not peers, pray. =)
Harsh, thats what that was. that kind of tone you used. what am i to you? someone whom you find entertaining and thankful to have when you have no one else? and when a little favour is not met to your expectations, you just dump me? like, what am i? someone not worthy to even to be thought of? someone whom you wont share a penny of her thoughts and how she felt? how monstrous are you. how heartless are you. how cold-blooded you are. i guess i wont get all these answered because you wont ever ever admit. because in your eyes, your eyes, you seemed so perfect, so flawless, everything that happened that is bad is not your fault. you can blame it on your loved ones, you can blame it on the people who loves you so much, you can blame it on people who are you friends, but you just wouldnt put that blame which you have to shoulder on yourself.so what should i call you? cowardly? timid? or just plain innocence. but i doubt that you are innocent, i doubt that you are pure. but who am i to speak of all these? someone who thinks that is your friend, when the fact is that she is used when wanted and dumped when the uses have been taken advantage of?hahs! no! i guess, you are just thinking too small, yet too big. you are just so weak, yet so strong. people get baffled by your inner selves for they know not the true you. they thus prefer to stick to what you are on the surface. the ever laughing, ever joker, ever perfect sister in their eyes.so pray tell me, at least, what is it that disturbs you most? what gave you such, strong character, yet made you so weak? i sometimes wonder, whether your mood really changes like the weather in Sydney. or is it something like a diversion to help you with the friends whom you dont want to get close with, automaically leave you? perhaps i will never know. but it would never hurt to let me find out, at least, as a true but not surface friend of yours.this will continue, to lengthen tomorrow when the ultimate hurdle fall behind into history and as time passes, dust collects and it will be gone forever.there will still be hurdles, still be waves and storms, but i have faith that with God by my side, they can be conquered everntually one by one at a time.Dad left for Jakarta this evening and arrival time has yet been confirmed. that worry will still be there till he comes back, and we wish, soon.Just this one last post, as a pre-battle journal entry. it had looked fierce to me. and, thus from something that seemed so normal to people, i however, suffers great stresses from it. jittery, thats what i am now. Had Alexander's army along with his good faithful friend, Hephiastion felt the same on thje eve of the battle at Gaugamela? I hope this encourages me, the things that had awaited them after they had won the battle. I hope this turn-out will be owned by me soon.jittery, afraid...but fear not peers, pray. =)
// posted by My name is Oherie. @ 1:12 pm 
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