spring onion

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

That embarrassing moment [2]
I just want to tell you that i was deeply embarrassed though i didnt tell you that. maybe you sensed it, but it was rather impossible. i had it so well-rehearsed. its ok anyway, or was it? i guess it wasnt. i surrendered my reason to my passion and my feelings with my duties. i hope i will never do that again.its hard to deny that feeling i had, though you might never know. i seemed so blur when will you, because i was blinded. boy oh boy. i guess you might never see this. whats on your mind? what was it that matters? ah i might never know.i told my parents that you were weird. or maybe, you just didnt use your brains. i guess the moments i spend with you will forever be embarrassing. that was really my duty. i believe so. I was sent to do it. but because of my emotions which i had a bad time managing. i lost it all.i guess i am to rearrange myself. and pray about that again. i should stop being a hypocrite. thank you for waking me up from all these dreams and fantasies. if not for you, my fantasy, my dream, i might never wake up from it.**********************************were you referring to mehave you been reading my blog secretly?i might never know.you may never admit the facti had felt so stupidi feel so dumb right nowarghi need to prayi have so much doubtsthe fog hasnt been clearedwhen will it be cleared?so desparately need to see light againwhen will i see it?boyi am losing my sanitywhat have i been doing?i..i...i dont know what i wanti guess i am like otherswant. need. change.perhaps that finalarghi dont knowi should just delete itlike any other lostteen...blogger....lost in the mist...perhapsforever